Wrong Way
by Kisaragi Yuu
Summary: [Chapter 4 uploaded: END] Weiß went to the mission on vacation in the beach. But when they are in the way to the solemn beach, Aya took a wrong highway. Rated R for language.
1. Lost and Found Gadget

Warnings

Warnings: Foul words, shounen-ai 

Spoilers: None 

Disclaimer: Weiß doesn't belong to me, it belongs to Koyasu Takehito, Kyoko Tsuchiya and Project Weiß. 

**Wrong Way**

Part 1: Lost and Found Gadget 

Kisaragi Yuu 

"You must be kidding!" Yohji yelled. 

"No I don't. And I thought you must be the most excited person when Persia give you this mission." Manx said, tugging his little too-tight mini skirt uncomfortably. /Shit, that's the last time I go with Birman to the Sushi House. I must have gained weight.../ 

"Yeah!! This is great!!" Ken said, putting a pose of 'Nihon' without a reason. "At last! A vacation! I'm growing old in all this killing, need a break." 

"Well Siberian, so sorry to tell you this but..." She moved uncomfortably again, the damned skirt almost lifted up and reveal everything. "This is still a mission." 

"I won't call going into the beach and relax there is a mission." Aya stated. 

The two redheads with two different genders looked and stared at each other for a couple of minutes. But of course, the redhead man won the staring battle (not glaring!), so Manx sighed and swung her head, making her curly red strands to bump. 

"But it's still a mission after all." She said, defending herself. 

"Ne Manx-san, not mean to offend but... Aya-kun is right, this won't be called a mission, although I would love to go..." Omi made his appearance. 

"Bombay, you will meet someone there and you need to go relax together. Now I don't know who the hell it is but surely this mini skirt is too tight." 

"EH??" the Weiß boys looked up. 

"Ah!" Manx flushed. "I mean, this is a mission after all and you go with the orders to relax okay? I'll go on now, do pack and tomorrow, be ready on 11 AM and enjoy yourselves." /Birman's going to PAY for this!!!!/ 

So the redhead woman with too tight skirt went out from the Koneko, leaving the boys alone and cursing a certain assistant to take her to the best Sushi House she ever had. 

"Whoah... how about that?" the blonde demanded. 

"I'm sure there's something behind this, Yohji." 

"Aww Aya! Stop being so old-fashioned!! We're going to have so much fun there! Right Omi?" the brunette stated. 

Gaining no answer, the soccer player looked at the once-there youngest teammate. He wasn't there anymore, he already busted to his room and packed things happily. Ken smiled. 

"See? Omi is excited! And so do I!" And without even a single word to his older teammates, he also busted out to his room and started to pack. 

"Well... better start to pack now I guess, my glorious leader?" Yohji smirked. 

"Shuddap" 

*** 

4 pretty boys were standing in front of the Koneko, all suited for the dream land named 'Beach' with Hawaiian shirts wore with glory. That is, of course, an exception for the leader, who just suited himself on the ugly orange sweater of his and black pants. The three groaned when they saw their leader look, but preferred to just keep it in their hearts, because if they say anything, they won't live another day. Or another minute, in Aya's katana case. 

"Now... where the hell is the car we're going to use?" Yohji demanded, tugging his sunglasses with small picture of sunny smile on the top of it closer to his nose. 

"Dunno really, gonna check it now." the bright boy said, tugging out his dear laptop and click some incredible words that the other guys (especially Ken and Yohji) didn't understand. "Oh, if I calculate right, the car will arrive right about... now." 

And like a miracle (or in Omi's case, timid calculation) the car did arrive. 

"Whoah... what are you? A walking calculator?" Yohji teased as he put his bags into the car. 

"Saa~ yes indeed" Omi smiled, tugging his laptop inside his pinky bag pack and went into the car. 

It's not a very big car, more like Aya's Porsche. But this one, it has a little remote control on the backside and a small TV monitor on the middle of it. Ken popped his head into the car and found no one as the chauffeur. He blinked. And soon he screamed. 

"AAAAHHHHH!!!!! THIS IS A GHOSTLY CAR!!!!! IT CAN MOVE BY ITSELF!!!" 

"Ore?" Omi blinked. He went to Ken's direction and checked things out. "Ne~ silly Ken-kun! This car is drove by Persia automatically here, not ghostly came here!" he pointed to the remote control and smiled to the soon flushing Ken. 

"Baka." Everyone could hear Aya whispered that word under his breath. 

So the 4 pretty guys hop into the car with Aya driving. 

*** 

Even a guy who can wear his patience for long, loooooong time, if that means he has to sit on the car for maybe 4 hours (at least), his patience can really wear down soon. Especially when his friends keep bitching about how long they're going to be inside. 

"Aya." 

That was, of course, the ultimate playboy Kudou Yohji who can't just shut his mouth up for 5 minutes. The redhead leader heard his name was mentioned, but prefer to ignore this one. 

"Oii Aya" 

Ignore. 

"Aya!" 

Ignore. Twitch. 

"Fujimiya Aya!!" 

Ignore. Twitch. Think of slashing Takatori's head off, no make it to think of slashing Persia's head off. He's the one who made this fucking mission after all. 

"Mr. Fujimiya stick-shoved-up-waaaaaaaay-too-far-to-his-ass Aya!!!!!" 

Ignore. Twitch. *PLAN* on slashing Persia's head off (not thinking anymore). 

"Oii, Fujimiya Aya the man who looks no better than a girl and has this addicted urge with Takatori and promptly become a shotakon!!" 

That's it. Persia's head will be burn in hell. 

"WHAT?!!" The once patient redhead leader glared at the older blonde. 

"Aya-CHAN, you missed the entrance to the highway!" 

"What the... ACK! NO!!!" Aya spun the wheel violently, making the poor car to screeched loudly and went the other way round. 

"That's what I've been trying to tell yo~uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!! AAAAAAAAGH!!!!!" Yohji screamed, holding on the seat for dear life while his leader kept turning the wheel off and made the car to swing around madly. "HOLY FUCK!!! I LIKE ACTION MOVIES BUT I HATE TO EXPERIENCE THEEEEEEEEEM!!!!!! WACK!!" 

Ken, who was been playing with his soccer ball was terrified. When he soon realized the situation he's in, he screamed. 

"GOD BLESS US ALL!!!!!!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!! LET YOHJI DIE! BUT NOT ME!!!" 

"HEY!" 

The second statement, and again of course, came from Yohji's protest. 

While the whole situation came up, the youngest Weiß was too horrified to even talk. So instead he busy himself with calculating. Afterall, he's the walking calculator ne? 

"U-uhh.....with my calculatio~ooooooon... uhh, I calculated that we should be stop swinging around like this in... maybe about 2 minutes and 6 seconds..." 

"AFTER 2 MINUTES I WOULD BE THE MOST GEORGOUS CORPSE EVER!!!!!" Yohji yelled. Sometimes the kid really freaks him out. 

"It's no time to calculate!" Ken stated, grasped Omi's shirt firmly, making the poor texture to crumple. "It's time to PRAY!!" 

"Ken-kun I never thought you believe in God!" 

"Well I and you better believe it now!" 

"I don't wanna die, I'm too sexy to die, I'm too beautiful to die, and to think there's so many girls I even haven't lay on...AGH! I can't and will NOT die!!" 

"And you can still think of *that* now??!" 

"Shut up..." that one slow whisper came from the leader. His teammates ignored him. 

"Shuddap Kenken!! Those are all TRUE!!" 

"Yeah right!" 

"Shut the hell up..." that came from the leader again, and again his teammates ignored him. 

"Uh... *shudder* 1 minute and 28 seconds..." 

"STOP CALCULATING FOR HOLY GOD'S SAKE!!!!!" 

"HEY! Don't shout at Omi!!" 

"I said shuddap Ken!!" 

"No! YOU shut up!" 

"Hey NO! YOU shut up!!!" 

"NO YOU!" 

"YOU!!" 

"YOU!!!!" 

Aya took some breath... "YOU BOTH SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

Well, nevertheless, *that* shut them up. The baka teammates of Aya (or at least, that's what Aya think) realize that the car already stop swinging around. It's a wonder for them whether because it's already bloody 1 minute and 28 seconds or the car also scared to death because of Aya's screaming. 

Panting some breath with eyes still glaring at his teammates (precisely Yohji and Ken) Aya replied himself calmly. "Shut the fucking hell up or else I'll throw you one by one out of the window." 

Then calmly, the car made a shift turn and headed to the highway. 

Except that, maybe it's due to the busy dream clouds on chopping Persia's head for getting him into this in Aya's mind, Aya (or the rest of his teammates who already too terrified of Aya's screaming to even dare to blink) didn't notice that he took the wrong highway. 

When the heavenly solemn place named beach is on the left highway, Aya took the right highway (of course, in coincidence). And on the small green direction that planted on the highway that Aya took was written: 

FUJI MOUNTAIN - 180 KM 

*** 

~part one owari^^ 

You did read until now?? o.O you are a lot tougher then I thought. Comments onegaaaaaaaaaaai?? 


	2. Long Hair and a Tomato Juice

Woah

Woah! This is the first time I added Schwarz boys into the fic. Gonna make a fic based on Schwarz sometimes else ne? ^_^ Did you guys notice this is also the first fic that I put many foul words in it? ^^; I am not used to it so please bear with me, ne? *hugs* Still, comments in any ways are accepted with both hands!

Warnings: Foul words, shounen-ai 

Spoilers: None 

Disclaimer: Weiß doesn't belong to me, it belongs to Koyasu Takehito, Kyoko Tsuchiya and Project Weiß. 

Wrong Way

Part 2: Long Hair and a Tomato Juice 

Kisaragi Yuu 

"Brad" 

"No." 

"Aww Brad~" 

"No." 

"Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddddd" 

"I said no." 

"Awwwww Braddiekiiiiiiiiiiiiiins" 

"Dammit Schuldich!! I said NO!" 

"Humph! Fine!" the German folded his arms, pouting. Sometimes his American leader really could spoil the mood on getting a vacation. Irritated, the German send a vision of... something unpleasant to the black-haired American. 

"Schuldich!!" Braddiekins... I mean, Bradley-chan... ahem, or he might preferred to be called Crawford, growled at his German lover who kept pouting and sending him more and more of unpleasant images into the American's mind. 

"Schuldich! You know how much I *despise* to see porn girls!! I'm gay dammit!!!" 

"And why do you think I send those porn girls images to you, lover? Or may I say, EX-lover?" 

"I don't think I'll be the first who'll come running for sex in our room this night..." Crawford stated, trying hard not to smile. The German pouted more, knowing the best that he, of course, be the one who will start to search the whole damned exclusive apartment to find his American man to make some lovin' first. 

"Aww c'mon Braddiekins! It's just a vacation! And on the beach too~! My skin is getting paler and paler everyday, in a month you will never can recognize me with that Fujimiya Weiß scum!!" 

Brad thought for awhile, soon he smiled and patted Schu. "That would be good then. We can sneak you into Weiß and get them killed while I handle with these bloody paper works." 

Schuldich grunted. His lover's mind has nothing else than killing Weiß and their own boss, who's fully armed with a stick golf named Takatori, sweet jeeves... "You are so cold! Just a blasted normal vacation!! And Nagi needs it too!" 

The young man which name was mentioned looked up from the book he was reading. "I do?" 

"Yes you do! Well, but that's another story if you want to stay here and just read that... that..." 

The American continued, "Philosophy Guiding Book, for mad people who lives with mad people" 

"Yeah, THAT!" he paused, registering the title, "NANI??! What do you mean by learning some..." 

"Philosophy, you could never say it right..." 

"Yeah, silosofi! You wanna be a... a..." 

"Psychiatrist" 

"Umm... yeah, psy... psy... *that*!" 

Nagi sighed, closing his book. 

"Yeah, maybe Schu's right. I need a vacation, away from all of this." /away from YOU Schu./ 

::meanie brat! I heard that!:: "See?? Brad! C'mon!! Onegai??" 

The American sighed, brushing a hand to his temple. Sometimes his German lover... no, make it to everytime, his German lover really push his own will without thinking about what the others think. But... oh well, maybe he's right. Crawford also needs some vacation to forget about everything, to forget about the fact that he's working with a bunch of orangutans. 

He sighed more, looking at the expecting German. 

"Fine, we will go Schu. Go pack up, tomorrow I will take you there or anywhere you want" 

"Aww Braddiekins!!! You are one so sweet lover!" he jumped, glomping the American to slight suffocation. Then he busted to his room (which happens to be Brad's too) and started to pack things. The leader of Schwarz looked at the Japanese boy who sighed too and went to his own room. Brad brushed his temple. 

Seeing the way this vacation was going to be like, he sighed. 

"This is going to be a hell looooooooong vacation..." 

*** 

Now is seen the 4 baddie guys sitting on the some kind of red Ferrari with Brad on the wheel, Schuldich beside him, and on the back were Farfarello and Nagi. 

Schuldich was putting a hand on his cheek, a sign that he's bored, his everlasting smile faded soon after he settled in the car seat for about 10 minutes. Brad's butt getting cramped as they were already steering for almost 3 hours now, while Nagi kept his headphone on and loud and Farfarello kept licking his knife. 

"Ne Braaaaaaad are we there yet??" 

That, of course, came from a certain redhead German. 

"Record." The youngest lad stated. 

"EH??" the German looked back, to find pair of dark ocean emerald eyes belongs to Nagi stared back at him. 

"Record," he repeated himself, "You can keep quiet for 15 minutes, that's the longest record." 

Schuldich pouted. "Very funny, brat." 

Brad smiled at the little joke that Nagi made, along with the German. He didn't know whether the smile he's putting on was a sign that he's entertained by the joke, or irritated by it. He chose not to know either. Soon, Schuldich was getting VERY bored, so he played with his hair... and soon end up playing with Brad's hair. 

Brad glared at him, "Schu, I am driving." 

"So what?" he smiled teasingly to his American lover as he whispered sexily, "You can drive AND play with me, can't you?" 

Brad sighed, "No I can't Schu, I am driving. You won't go to the beach if you attract me and make me lost the way to the beach." 

Schuldich pouted more, he crossed his arms again, and sound of 'Mayfly' song was heard. He peeped back to the backseat. 

"Nagibrat, gimme that headphone of yours." 

Nagi raised an eyebrow at the German, the two looked at each other, silently registering a war in their minds. 

/Ask for it, say 'please'/ 

::Very funny, gimme that headphone, now:: 

/You don't scare me, Schu/ 

::Who wants to scare you for Christ's sake, just gimme that headphone or I will start whining again:: 

/That also doesn't scare me, nice try by the way/ 

::Why of course... wait! What do you mean by that?! Am I some whiney bitch who uses his whines to get what he wants??!:: 

/Oh... another record of the day: Schuldich *FINALLY* found out that he's a whiney bitch who uses his whines to get what he wants, and it took him 3 minutes to notice what I meant and 4 years to know that he's a whiney bitch/ 

"BRAT!!" 

That one, and again of course, came from a certain redhead German. Brad had to think about something else like pretending he didn't see this one coming, or like... maybe chopping everybody's head off just to make them shut up, or a certain *he* shut up. If it doesn't work, let his own head be the first choice. 

"Braddiekins, Nagi called me a whiney bitch who uses his whines to get what he wants!" 

Brad sighed a loooong sigh as he kept steering, didn't look back but asked, "Did you Nagi?" 

Nagi lower the volume on his headphone, "Schuldich is a whiney bitch who uses his whines to get what he wants, I said it now, again. Satisfied?" after that he increased the volume back. Schuldich glared daggers to him. 

"See?? Ground him! Punish him! Whatever!" 

Brad sighed more, wondering why in the hell he had to work with these morons. "You are grounded when we got back Nagi. A week." 

Schuldich looked to Nagi teasingly, Nagi didn't look at him. Instead he used his power to throw the juice Farfarello was licking along with his knife who was saying that tomato juice and a knife tasted like hurting God (although he had NO idea what hurting God tastes, and he didn't has to be a smart ass to know, hurting God does not tastes like strawberries), to Schuldich's praised hair. 

Schuldich screeched. 

"Ow FUCK! NAGI!!! My precious hair!!" 

Brad tightened his grip on the steer, trying very, VERY hard not to commit suicide. 

"Boku wa hen da..." Nagi sang, looking outside the window. Farfarello stared at Schuldich's hair that piled with red tomato juice, he pondered on it for a few minutes before grabbed the gracious (??) hair of Schuldich's and pulled it. 

"YOWCH!! Don't pull my hair, sicko Irishman!!! Let it go! Let it go!" 

Nagi grinned silently, knowing the best that Farfarello always pulled everything that's long and reddish (???), it's just that Schuldich's hair is kinda orange-coloured, and now by the tomato juice, his hair even more looked red. And it qualified just fine for Farfarello to grasp it. 

"Schuldich's long red blooded hair hurts God..." 

Farfarello grinned as he pulled it even more, making the German to scream and shouted and whined and babbled. Brad really wished he were in his solemn office with his beloved thousand packets of paper at once. At least those packets won't scream and shout and whine and babble in the same time like the German did. 

"LET IT GO DAMMIT!!" 

"Your scream hurts God even more." 

"Yes, whiney bitch's screams do hurt God a hell lot." 

"BRATS! Shuddap!!" 

"Could you all please shut up...?" 

The last question mark was spitted out by Schwarz's leader, of course. 

"It hurts for Christ's sake!! Let it GO!!!" 

"It hurts Christ? Cool!" Farfarello demanded as he pulled the poor strands harder, making Schuldich to cry out in pain again, while in the same time babbling some German swears. 

Nagi started to think on signing Schuldich up in the World's Guinness Book of the Record for the only man in the world who can scream and shout in Japanese, while murmuring swears in German. 

"Baka, that only make Farfarello gets more and more excited." 

"You have no right to call me a baka, since you are the one who planned this up!! BRATBRATBRAT!!" 

"Psychiatrist." 

"NANI??!" Schuldich raised his eyebrow high at the youngest Schwarz reply. 

"If you can say that right, I won't call you a baka whiney bitch again." 

Schuldich growled mentally and physically at the brunette, "You fucking damned BRAT!! And let me go in God's name, Farfarello!!" 

"It hurts God even more." 

"BRA~DDD!!!!!!!" 

Brad tightened his grip on the steer wheel, thinking about wishing how much he hoped Schuldich didn't call him, and wondering how he can kill himself. 

"WHAT NOW??!" 

"Farfarello and Nagi are teaming up torturing me!!" Schuldich stated... no, make it to he shouted it. 

"More like torturing God!" Farfarello stated excitedly. 

"More like he's torturing himself." Nagi stated calmly. 

Brad PLANNED on killing himself, didn't care any kind of ways, as long as it can kill him and send him faaar away from these moronic gorillas. "Farfarello, let Schuldich's hair go." 

"No it hurts God badly." 

"Yes, it hurts God so much. And it also hurts our baka whiney bitch, Schuldich." 

"NAGI!! You fucked brat!!" 

"Psychiatrist, Schu, psychiatrist." 

"Psychiatrist." Farfarello replied, grinning at the German and the Japanese. Nagi smirked, "Farfarello the madman can say it, you can't?" 

"BRADDDD!!!!!!!!!!" 

"Psychiatrist, I said it in Schuldich's name. Now will you guys stop teasing him, so we can have a free-whine travel and let me drive in PEACE?" 

Both the Irish and the Japanese chorused, "Schuldich couldn't say 'Psychiatrist'!" with the brunette added, "And why am I not surprised?" 

Schuldich threw them a VERY dark look, sending them both an image of the two being killed by him. Specialized in Farfarello, Schuldich sent him a holy picture of smiling angel, it made Farfarello screamed though. 

Brad whispered under his breath: Suicidesuicidesuicide 

Schuldich started to whine more and soon burst out, "LET ME GO, FARFARELLO!!" 

"No it hurts God." 

"Yes it hurts God baaaaaadly." 

"Shuddap..." 

The last state came from the leader (need me to say it?), but needless to say, his moron teammates ignored him, already entertained (okay so two of them were entertained) by the problem of Schuldich's gracious (??) hair. 

"NO! It made God happy!" 

"It did?" 

"No, he's lying." 

"No I'm not!!" 

"Morons... shuddap or I'll..." 

And again, that small whisper came from a certain leader.But what to say, his teammates for the nth times ignored him.

"Let that hair go!! You will ruin the routine care I did on it for months!!" 

"That even hurts God!" Farfarello laughed happily. 

"Routine care?" Nagi smirked, imagining Schuldich on the bathroom using many kinds of hair treatment lotions on his hair, adoring his own reflection on the mirror, along with his long reddish orange strands. He smirked more. 

"That isn't funny!!" 

"Shut. Up." 

"Yes it is." Nagi stated calmly, smirking crazily. Farfarello laughed with no particular reason, considering that he's a madman. 

"No, it IS NOT!" 

"Yes, it IS!" 

"IS NOT!" 

"IT IS!" 

"BRAT!!" 

"Baka whiney bitch." 

"BRATBRATBRAT!!!" 

"Bitchbitchbitch." 

"BRAAAAAAAD!!!!!" 

And when the last scream registered in Brad's ears, all damned common sense (and patience) have been lost. 

He turned the wheel violently, making the poor car to screech as the three members (okay particularly, one of them) screamed hysterically. The car spun round and round, many sounds of children cry heard and blood spilled were seen. (Fine, forget about the last sentence, this crazy author is trying to make it sounds poetic, humor her!) 

"BRAD!!!! STOP THE FUCKING CAR!!!" 

"Crawford... we are too young to die..." 

"If we are dead we can see God, and that means I can hurt Him!! Yes Brad, do it!!" 

"BRAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!!" 

"Crawford..." 

"Brad! Keep on!!" 

Brad took some breath... "STOP CALLING MY NAME AND SHUT THE HOLY FUCKING HELL UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

*That* made his moron teammates shut up, AND the car to stop spinning. Brad panted a bit when soon he replied himself, "Shut the holy fucking hell up or I will kill myself and damn the vacation we are going to go through to hell." 

After the whole crazy incidents on calling each other bitch and brat, the rest of the trip was quiet. 

It's just that maybe the paper-loving (????) American named Bradley Crawford was too busy in thinking why in the hell he had to work with these crazy, lunatics, idiots, and not to forget to mention, moronic teammates (or slaves for Crawford), and busy too in wondering how he can kill himself while in the same time, killing his idiot pet monkeys (yes they are Schuldich, Nagi and Farfarello), until he didn't notice that he took a wrong highway. 

When the heavenly solemn place named beach is on the left highway, Brad took the right highway (of course, in coincidence). And on the small green direction that planted on the highway that Brad took was written: 

FUJI MOUNTAIN - 180 KM 

*** 

~part two owari^^; 

Whoa, you keep reading?? O.O You are TOUGH!! Well what happen in the next? Just find out later in the third part! *hugs* Now, comments onegaaaaaaaaai??? *chibi eyes* 0_0 


	3. My Dear Rabbit Pajama

Thank you so much for the comments! Please, this one too. It's been quite long since the last time I wrote anything, so I just wanted to know whether there are changes or not. ^^; Comments in any way are welcomed! I don't receive flames though... (I'll just no respond to it^^;) and I'm so sorry if I make any Ken's fans abandoned... I mean, I'm also a Ken fan, but here... really, I made him sounds too 'baka' here... (does not have the heart to say 'stupid' ^^;;) gomen!! . 

Err, and no, I don't think I will make another pair that consider Farfie x Yohji... so don't ask, ok? ^^;;; 

Note: I put a very, VERY little slash of GW characters here (Heero/Duo) 

Warnings: Foul words, shounen-ai  
Spoilers: None  
Disclaimer: Weiß doesn't belong to me, it belongs to Koyasu Takehito, Kyoko Tsuchiya and Project Weiß. 

**Wrong Way**  
Part 3: My Dear Rabbit Pajama  
Kisaragi Yuu

"Uh, does the colour of sand change to white in year 2000?" asked Ken. 

Yohji groaned. Aya silenced. 

Omi sighed, "It doesn't *change* Ken-kun... this IS snow." 

"So if this is snow then... where is the sand?" 

Yohji groaned more, putting one hand on his head, "The sand is on the beach, Kenken." 

"So where is the beach?" 

Yohji and Omi chorused, "BITE ME." 

Ken rubbed his back dumbly. 

The Weiß were seen standing in front of their car in some Hawaiian suits (except of Aya) while the people around passed them after taking a minute of glance. Yohji kept his mouth shut, really, really, really, and really annoyed of this situation. He liked to be in the center of the attention, but NOT in this kind of situation. 

Ken started again, "Umm... I thought we are going to a beach?" 

Yohji, Omi and even Aya groaned. 

"We are lost, Ken." Aya explained simply, wondering and wondering whatever the reason he had to deal with his stupid teammates. 

Yohji growled, "I can't stand it anymore!! We had to sit in the damned car for more than 7 hours, almost dead by the greatest driver ever named Fujimiya stick-shoved-up-to-my-ass Aya, and now we are LOST??! Oh ye God, what have I done??!" 

"What have you done? A lot of things Kudou, for fucking innocent girls AND guys, for lying to all of us that you got a 'business' to attend when it's your duty to open the flowershop, and for getting me pissed a hell lot NOW." 

"Why, you great leader of mine, if you hadn't take the wrong highway..." 

"I took the wrong highway because *you* were screaming like a girl." 

"I did not...!" 

"Guys look!" Omi pointed to a familiar orange-haired man who screamed hysterically beside his three teammates. 

The Weiß blinked in unison. 

"Is that who I think it is?" Ken asked. 

Aya widened his eyes. 

***meanwhile*** 

"YOU DAMNED FUCKHEAD!! WHY DID YOU TAKE THE WRONG HIGHWAY?????" 

"Don't scream, Schuschu, many people are looking at us..." Brad brushed his temple, trying hard to restrain himself from taking that new gun and pointed it to Schu. 

"Now I'll have my skin paler!! I thought I told you that my skin is getting paler and paler, so I got to go to the beach?!" 

"You did, Schu, you did." Brad changed his mind on pointing the gun to Schu, make it to just simply shoot him and be damned with it. If it still doesn't work, let him shoot himself to death. 

"Schu, we are not going to get back to Tokyo with you whining like that." Nagi sighed. Schu was older than him and yet he sounded like he was 10 years behind the Japanese boy. 

Farfarello looked to the group of four that were looking at him, he blinked, "Hey anti-God troopers, look who we got here..." 

Nagi turned to Brad, "Crawford? Since when are we 'anti-God troopers'?" 

"Bite me." Brad sighed. 

"I will." Schuldich grinned. 

The leader of Schwarz brushed his temple for the zillionth time (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, sue me) as he looked at the way that Farfarello pointed. 

... O_O 

"WEIß!!" 

"SCHWARZ!!" 

And so, many slashing and gun shooting was heard. 

*** 

Somewhere in the car... (yeah right, like there is _somewhere _over that Ferrari) 

"Yowch, Schu! Please be more careful at that one!!" 

"Shut up, Liebe, it's your fault. Why did you have to get slashed on the most exciting part of your shaped body? And it's my fave spot too!" 

"Your fave spot of my body is my ass?" 

Schuldich grinned, "And your smooth chests, that is." 

*** 

Somewhere in a hotel room... 

"Ooh, yes!! Yes, please Heero!! Come to me! Aah..." 

Heero took the lubrication once more and started to rub on Duo's... 

Oops, wrong channel, sorry. 

*** 

Somewhere in the car... (this one is the Porsche one, of you don't notice) 

"Hn. Be more gentle, onegai." (In Aya's language, the 'hn' there means: 'YARRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!! IT HURTS YOU STUPID DINGBOAT!!') 

"Aya? Why did you have to be nearly shot on your leg? To tell you the truth, it's my favorite part..." 

Aya smiled faintly at Ken as he ruffled his hands to Ken's hair, rubbing his head away (but poor Kenken didn't know that the 'rub' Aya was giving him was the rub ala pet-rub). Ken blushed an unison of red and violet. 

Then loud of... interesting noises were heard. Err, let's skip that part. *ducks from the flying dead chicken that the yaoi Ranken fans throw to her* 

*** 

The rest of the Weiß and Schwarz were seen in front of a mansion, more like a wooden inn. There's a small piece of paper, drawn there was the blueprint of the mentioned inn. 

"NO!" 

"But Yohji-kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun! There's no other room left!" 

"There is NO, and I repeat, NO, and I repeat again, NOOOOOOOOOOOO~ way I'm going to sleep with Farfarello!!" 

Farfarello licked his knife, "Geez, I thought I was going to have some God-hurting fun this way. God will hurt a hell lot when I have companion." He winked... yes, he WINKED with his other amber eye to the oldest blonde Weiß, don't worry, your eyes are not deceiving you. 

Yohji shivered, "See?! Omi!! Please! Don't make me SLEEP with him!! I won't have the chance to wake up anymore!" Yohji wailed, almost begging. 

Fuck pride, there's no way Yohji wanted to sleep with Farfarello. The guy was a sicko for crying out loud! 

"But it's all settled! These are the perfect matches after all. Aya-kun with Ken-kun, Schuldich-san with Crawford-san, I with Naoe-san, assuming that he's almost in the same age with me, and well... you with Farfarello-san!" Omi read the list again. 

All of them could hear Farfarello choked with the adding of 'san' on his name. But of course, none of them pay any attention to his choke, considering that he's a madman and madmen do the worst thing in thoughts. 

"B-but, why couldn't I sleep with you??" 

"You are dangerous to teenagers like me, Yohji-kun." Omi stated, almost whispering as his face flushed. 

"But Omiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~." 

Nagi cuts him off, ignoring the whine that was starting to sound like Schu's, "Besides, Farfarello won't do anything to you if you don't wear rosaries and pray every night." He stated, munching his Good Time biscuits after offering it to the youngest Weiß. 

"Is that true?" 

"Nope." Nagi replied calmly as he munched on the delicious chocolate biscuits. 

/Brat/ That thought came from Yohji as he threw dagger glare to Nagi. 

Now what Yohji can do to protect (and re-build) his ego was to accept the game plan as a man and be damned with it. Of course, with the un-heartily way too. 

Yohji sighed, kissing his freedom good-bye. 

Omi smiled, knowing the best that his older teammate had given up. /Gomen Yohji-kun!/ 

Sometimes, Yohji just had this funny conclusion, whether the angelic smile that Omi had was a true genuine smile or was it just another game plan that the strategist had thought of. And he must admit that he was, in a depressing Yohji's pride away, kind of worried about this kid. 

He sighed his losing smile. /This is going to be a too looooooooooong vacation./ 

*** 

That night, no one was able to sleep. 

Well, of course, an exception to the couples (Aya-Ken and Schu-Brad) who were too busy to sleep. 

Yohji wished, how he wished, oh hoooooooooow he wished, he brought his steel wire weapon. 

Yohji felt a cold in his back neck, "Don't stare at me." 

"I'm not staring at you." 

Silent. 

"I said don't stare at me." 

"God will hurt, I'm not staring at you." 

"Ah see? You're staring at me until your eye turns gold!" 

Farfarello sighed, hey... maybe this guy could challenge Schuldich in whining, protesting, and imagining things up! And he always thought that no one could with-draw Schuldich in those kinds of challenge... 

"They are not gold, they are ambers. And furthermore I'm not staring at you. Screwing your pajama, yeah, not staring at you, no." 

"Hmm... good then," a pause. After a few minutes, Yohji turned his head violently to Farfarello, "You did WHAT?!" 

"Slashing your cute rabbit pajama out, why?" 

Yohji really wanted to cry, how he _desperately_ wanted to cry and just throw himself out of the window. Of all his few pajamas... (considering that to put up with his image he always slept with no clothes on... but also always got the cold in the morning. Of course the Weiß producer cut off that scene everyday Yohji woke up, just to protect his image) 

...why did he had to cut the pinky rabbit?? And it was the cutest among the other animals! 

(just for your information, the other animals are gray elephant, orange cats, brown squirrels, and red Ayas.) 

(...) 

(Okay maybe Aya is not an animal, but Yohji did think that he is an endangered species.) 

But again, to protect his precious pride, he stopped looking at Farfarello and just turned over to look at the sky. He lit on his cigarette and puffed it. 

Aa, the sky was a perfect choice. A bishonen who was thinking about his past, looking to the sky, with a cigarette on his lips and wearing a suit that the first few buttons were opened, boy, what a great pose! 

Then suddenly he heard noises. 

Noises of... something getting undressed. 

To his worst fear, he looked back sloooooowly. 

O_O 

"W-w-w-w-what the hell are you doing??!" 

"Changing my clothes." 

Farfarello undressed himself and threw his black pants away. Soon he started to find clothes to wear in his suitcase. Yohji dropped his cigarette at the sight of Farfarello changing. 

Farfarello actually had a well-built body after all, although there were scars scattering everywhere, but he fitted it. His hands hadn't that many biceps, but still he surely had a nice pair of legs. And they were smooth (WHAT?! O.O). He had the most perfect belly, with a small boxer with motive... 

Hey... wait... a... minute... 

"You slashed my rabbit pajama away and made it to a BOXER??!!!" 

Farfarello grinned. 

Yohji screamed. 

TBC~ ^^; 


	4. I Wanna Go Home!

Warnings: shonen-ai, foul words  
Spoilers: none  
Disclaimer: Weiß doesn't belong to me, satisfied?! *runs away screaming* 

It's been awhile since I wrote the last chap ^^; seemingly school has been such a pain in the ass… well hopefully you still review. O-n-e-g-a-i? @_@ Still remember that I said something about will NEVER pairing Yohji up with Farfarello? Well, umm, I think I have to take it back... although it's not *exactly* like that... ^^; 

Wrong Way  
Part 4: I Wanna Go Home!!  
Kisaragi Yuu 

Truly, Yohji didn't want anything but just simply go home. 

Sobbing into his handkerchief that had a motive of Chibi Asuka scattering all over it, he looked up to the sky. "Dear God… what have I done?" he had been suffering for coldness since all he brought with him were beach-purpose suits, he didn't even bring a bloody sweater with him. 

He looked over to the psychopath Irishman who was snoring damn too loud on the bed. 

Why in the hell that guy didn't shiver at all?! 

Er wait, he couldn't feel any pain so it's out of the question. 

Dammit, being in here alone was frustrating! He needed companion, and of course being with the psycho was the last option Yohji would come up with. He walked out from his room and made his way into Ken's room. He was going to open it when suddenly… 

"Oh Aya!! Put that shampoo down! I haven't finished bathing and—mmmmmmmmmph!!!!!!!" 

Yohji decided that he didn't want to know. So he turned away when there was a voice that escaped the door again. 

"Gulp that down baby, ooh yes GULP THAT DOWN!!" 

It was the redhead's voice. He shivered. Sometimes you really can't judge a book by its cover. 

Then he headed to Schuldich's room when suddenly he knew he was going to make a mistake coming over there. Either Brad would shoot him to death or Schuldich begging him to join them and made a 'threesome' (which of course Brad protested on, moreover after doing the threesome Brad would shove his gun to Yohji's throat and he would be so dead). He didn't choose it, he still want to live anyway. So instead, he headed to the last person, Omi. 

The kid should reading books or typing in his computer now, guess a little 'extra' companion other than that quiet brat, Nagi, would be good. He smiled for himself, thanking God that Omi the little angel was still around to ease his pain. 

An angel beneath a hell, an oasis in the middle of a dry Sahara, a cold water inside a summer's… 

"YES! THAT'S THE WAY! OOOOOOH YESS!!!!!! GIMME MILK YOU BITCH, GIMME MILK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

O_o 

Yohji's jaw almost flopped out from his head's bone. He was damn sure that it was Omi! 

But maybe he was wrong… from all the incidents that have happened to him today, a little of hearing error was no exceptionable. Still he needed to find out. So he opened the doorknob to Omi's room and stepped in slowly. 

There he cursed his own curiousness. 

Yohji almost puked on the sight of Nagi rubbing Omi's… well he decided not to ponder on it *the author gets whacked by the yaoi Nagi/Omi fans* just say that the sight was disgusting and interesting in the same time. 

Then the little 'angel' looked up to Yohji and smiled widely to him, "now I can understand why you can't stop having sex Yohji-kun." He grinned innocently with Nagi licking his earlobes from behind hungrily. The Japanese telekinetic looked up to the much older boy, "join or leave." 

Yohji was still trying to consume this all up with his slow brain. 

"Or you might want me to help you leave? By the mid-air of course?" 

"E-er, no thanks." Yohji awkwardly said as he left the room as fast as he could and clicked the door closed silently. He stood there and tried to register the whole lot of scenes in his brain. 

But it's IMPOSSIBLE!! Omi! That little blonde angel!! The one he thought was the one left innocent in his life!! OMI!!!! 

He was frustrated. 

Damn. Really. Frustrated. 

He wanted to go home. He wanted to be back where he could forget everything. 

Then beneath his frustration, he made his way back to the room he and the psycho monkey shared. Opening the door violently, he closed it back again in the same force that he used while opening it, and then he locked it. 

There he saw a snoring Farfarello, saying something like 'God………hurts… lalala… damn hurt…' in his sleep. Yohji looked at him with this somebody-stop-me look when he pounced on the was-sleeping-Irishman just exactly like a panther. 

"Wha—?" 

Yohji growled as he yanked Farfarello's pajama (which have knives motives all over it), "shut up and be fucked by me quietly." 

"What…? But I was dreaming about hurting God with a razor knife!!" 

"Stop whining and just shut up!!" 

"H-hey! Be careful with the pajama! It has a history of killing grannies!! Oh no… oh nooooo~ you won't do that! ACK! LEAVE THAT FUCKING BOXER ALONE!!!" 

"SHUT UP!!" 

In the first time of his entire life, Farfarello had learnt that a very desperate Yohji could mean more danger than a very pissed off Brad. 

Well at least if Brad was pissed, all he did was locking him up in the dog pound and left him for a week (until Schuldich freed him silently just to make Crawfish blow his top off by the way). He never fucked him when he's pissed, unlike this Weiß desperate sex hurricane. 

*** 

He felt like hell when he woke up in the morning. 

He looked to the side of him and found a certain redhead who was sleeping silently, looking very innocent and delicious in a same time. He blinked. 

He couldn't believe that this person who looked exactly like an angel was the same person who 'raped' him in the bathroom yesterday night... Aya was a meanie! At first he went slow on you, he became so sweet, shy-ish and secretive that you'd eventually tell him that it's okay to be more open to you. 

But then when he got full control of your feelings, he toyed with it and he treated you like a slave! And to think that Aya loved S&M the most... 

/I don't know what I see in him.../ Ken thought to himself. /Whenever I tried to be the 'M' he'd eventually kicked me and used that little space of time to take over./ 

Still it wasn't fair! He was also a guy, and although he liked the idea of being a slave of Aya, at some points he also wanted to be the master! It's no fun getting fucked over and over again and never experienced fucking a guy *once*. Aya was such a meanie... he's way stronger than Ken and the brunette boy knew the best if he forced himself to the older boy it will mean some business with Aya's katana. He sighed. 

It was when he was going to take a shower when a brilliant idea came into him... 

He smirked evilly. 

*** 

Omi opened his eyes and got up from the bed. He was heading to the bathroom when suddenly something pulled one of his legs and made him fall flat on the floor. Lucky for him it was carpeted. 

The blonde teenager looked at the 'something' that prevented him from going anywhere and soon found out that the 'something' was a rope. A big, huge, rope that's usually used in Japanese temples. 

"What the..." 

He was going to stand up when suddenly something sat on his back. He looked up. 

To his horror, it was a psycho-looking Nagi with a leash on his hand and a cowboy hat on his head. The Japanese brunette boy grinned. Omi gulped. 

*** 

Aya opened up his eyes and grunted as a migraine attacked his precious head. Wait, maybe if he cried 'shi-ne' out loud, the migraine will be scared off and wouldn't bother to visit him again due to fright... Aya foolishly thought. Then he considered of staying away from Ken for awhile since he was starting to think that Ken's dumbness was affecting him too. And there's NO way Aya wanted to be a dumbass like his lover was! 

Graciously (to protect his image) Aya got up from the bed... or at least tried to get up when then he realized that both of his wrists were tied up to the sides of bed. He widened his eyes in shock. "What is this?!" 

"You are awaken I see." A very familiar voice chimed in. 

Aya turned his head violently to the source of the voice. He saw a familiar looking brunette boy with a mask that covered his eyes only. He was wearing a bathroom suit which had a logo of the hotel they were staying at in the corner of it. 

"Ken? What the hell are you doing?" Aya asked impassively, while his eyes were glaring his infamous deathglare. 

The boy in mask shrugged, "you are very suited to be our leader, Aya. You can even recognize me even when I'm masked! Very cool! Tell me how to do it when we get home okay?" the soccer player cheered loudly. 

Aya sweatdropped. 

Ken was an idiot, he really was. The redhead sighed. 

"But even if you do recognize me, I won't let you go." 

"Eh? Ken...?" 

Ken undressed himself from the bathroom suit and he strolled himself to the immobile leader on the bed. Then he leaned his body to the amethyst-eyed young man, pressing it against the older man's body. He licked his leader's neck hungrily. 

"K-Ken?" Aya's voice trembled, a sign of worry started to rise. Ken smirked. This was going to work afterall. 

"As you know my dear Aya," he paused as he played with his fingers, touching and caressing every place he managed to touch over Aya's body, "you never let me be the seme. Not even once. Now I'll force you to be the uke, whether you like it or not." The brunette 19-year-old boy grinned. 

"Ken...get off me. Or you'll really regret it." 

"I've had enough of your threats, now it's time to show you who is the master." 

"Ken! Don't do that! HEY!! STOP TOUCHING MY *BEEP* LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

Soon enough the protests and whines stopped in an instance, replaced by... interesting moans from a certain man. 

*** 

When the boys gathered in the fireplace, the noon already reached the sky. 8 beautiful men were seen sitting on the couches but no one dared to interfere with their 'silent war' mood since they looked like hell anyway. 

A small girl was going to sit near them when she saw the looks on their faces and promptly burst to tears. 

Yohji was looking like a drug-addict, saying something like 'I wanna go home... I wanna go home... I wanna go home...' under his breath. 

Farfarello was looking as usual, the difference was he wasn't licking his knife, instead he was licking something that had a motive of Chibi Asuka all over it. It seemed to be a kind of wrapped dildo. 

Omi wasn't looking very healthy either, although he was just waking up but he didn't look very fresh. Some red scars were seen all over his body up onto his butt. 

Nagi was smiling evilly while his eyes were still transfixed to the Weiß youngest boy. Everybody wondered why in the hell was Nagi doing with a cowboy hat remained on his head but didn't bother to ask. 

Brad wasn't looking at Schuldich due to embarrassment. Last night, Schuldich thought on a new plan of having fun so he collared Brad and turned him into a dog... of course by threat of gulping down his new model gun. That made the red-haired German giggled everytime he saw that 'look' painted on Brad's face and the scar of a collar left on his sexy neck. It was obvious to see, he thought to himself. Schuldich giggled more. 

The only couple that seemed to be having such a good time was Aya and Ken. 

"Ken-sama... can we do it again tonight? I never thought you are THAT strong and big..." Aya asked his lover as he snuggled more into the younger boy's arm. 

"Hmph, you think that was strong? You haven't seen anything yet." Ken replied with a 'big-boss' tone. 

"Kyaan~ Ken, how naughty of you!" Aya giggled playfully. 

"Heh you stupid idiotic slave, where's the 'sama' reference? Or you want me to punish you oh-so-badly? I won't stop even if you beg me to, ya know..." 

"A-Ah!" Aya blushed furiously, "I-I'm very sorry, Ken-sama... still please punish me, and punish me BAD since I'm really disappointing for your slave..." Aya's eyes were teary and it felt like he could burst into tears anytime now. 

"Oh I will and even your tears won't stop me." 

"Ken-sama! You are so cool!" 

"Hn, I know." 

The two lovers hugged each other (or more specifically *one* of them snuggled into the other) lovingly. The others were making faces at them, looking at the weird couple with what-the-hell-is-going-on-between-them look. Some of them were damn holding back the urges to throw up. 

Then a very frightened waitress came near them and delivered them a message, "Um excuse me, but there's a message to you all." 

The 8 men looked up to the waitress. She gulped. 

"Read up, what the hell are you being slow for?" Brad complained. She looked like she wanted to cry at the tone Brad was using. Schuldich hushed him down and smiled to the waitress, "read it up please." 

"U-um, okay. Here goes, 'I know that you all will be stupid enough to end up in Fuji Mountain, but since the holiday was meant to be Hawaii Beach, your salary has been cut off. Fuji Mountain is definitely not cheap. This goes to Schwarz too, the order from Takatori and me is definite. Now go back here or I'll fire you all. – Persia'." 

Certain 8 pairs of eyes stared at the waitress as she couldn't take it anymore and ran out from there as fast as she could. 

From far in Fuji Mountain, you can hear 8 kinds of yelling until down to the whole damn Japan. 

*** 

Meanwhile, Persia and Takatori were having a tea party in one of the tops of Takatori's building. 

"Haan~ it feels so good to fire all those monkeys. Nowadays they can do nothing but to complain and look more dangerous by day. It's a relief that they are deserted in Fuji Mountain." Takatori exclaims as he lifts up a cup of tea and drinks it. 

Persia smiles, "Yes I agree. We even can cut off expenses!" 

The two old men were laughing when suddenly the door was barged open and some certain young beautiful men came in, one by one, looking more dangerous than monkeys do—of course. 

"W-What?? How in the hell could you all get here?!" Takatori gasped as he stood up. 

"You don't wanna know... and you don't need to know. What you need to know is what are we going to do to you..." Aya embraced his katana. 

"We are going to have lots of fun..." Brad took out his new gun. 

"Damn hell we will..." Ken put on his bugnuk. 

"Today I'll hurt you not for God but for myself, which is going to be a lot more fun..." Farfie licked his knife. 

"You are going to suffer a lot, grandpa, and uncle..." Omi smiled innocently as he lifted up his bow gun. 

"I'll let you choose, jump or fly through the air..." Nagi made a threat, tone dangerously low. 

"Or maybe you want to stay and let me make you insane like you made us insane..." Schuldich glared. 

The two old men were so scared they felt weak on their knees. When they started making offers of money and glamorous things, the lanky playboy Weiß came in lastly with the string watch on his hand and a wicked grin on his face. The old folks shivered. 

"We'll make you PAY..." He said softly while eyes were shining yellow lights. Okay maybe they weren't really shining, but they made a great impression of it. 

Persia smiled awkwardly as he perspired again and again, "Uh... Balinese? Can we negotiate...?" 

"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" 

~Owari -_-;;; 


End file.
